


Don't Let it Fool You

by Starship_Spectacle



Series: Off--Beat! (FNF AU) [1]
Category: Friday Night Funkin' (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Emotionally Repressed, Hurt No Comfort, Mental Breakdown, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starship_Spectacle/pseuds/Starship_Spectacle
Summary: Before Boyfriend became "Boyfriend", his name was Evan.Before he met Girlfriend, he met Pico.Before they fought, they loved each other.After the fact came heartbreak.(Including my own headcanons and interpretation of the characters! More specifically, BF's old home life and mentality!)(Hope you enjoy!✨)
Series: Off--Beat! (FNF AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180280
Kudos: 25





	Don't Let it Fool You

**Author's Note:**

> Quick things to take note: This is part of my headcanon filled au called Offbeat! I hope to write more about it sometime.
> 
> First thing is first, BF is Evan and he has.. A few problems.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the pain!✨

_ What's wrong? _

It feels so silent. It feels like the world has gone quiet. Like it's slowly falling apart.

Taking another glance at the phone, it was clear that what had happened was real.

And it was going to last.

  
  


_ Nobody was calling. No notifications. Not even a text back. Nothing. _

Absolutely  _ nothing. _ Nothing save for the silence.

  
  
  


It was deafening.

  
  
  


Dark brown eyes found themselves fixated on a blank wall. They were bleary with tears. Their owner had found himself on the verge of even more breathless sobbing. He couldn't make out how much time had passed but he couldn't really focus much anyway. A hand holding onto his head as he forced himself to take a few heavy breaths.

_ He's not going to respond again. Maybe he's even blocked you now.  _ The brunette didn't doubt it. 

This was all just so  _ suffocating. _

Just earlier that day both of them had been talking as though nothing was wrong. Hanging out at the other's apartment because Evan had found a valid excuse to leave the house. His parents were under the impression it was for a school meeting. 

He had hoped to be there for a nice talk. A hangout. Maybe the two could make amends even. In recent months their relationship had been strained for reasons he could barely speculate or wrap his head around. He and Pico had been together for about a full year, right? What was so bad that they couldn't fix now?

Evan  _ really _ hoped that today was going to be the end of it. Of all the uneasy feelings. At this moment he would've stayed in the redhead's apartment and both of them would be doing alright, right? Snuggled one upon the other as Pico had rambled about whatever it is he wanted. The shorter male would have sat and stayed listening.

_ Isn't that how it was supposed to work? _ His eyes burned instead.

His voice raised in a shrill cry as the other had screamed out in response. He couldn't recall much save for the absolute rage and hurt he had felt at the moment, finally bursting out after god knows how long. After months of trying to keep it quiet.

Every time they had been together, his heart usually fluttered. Now it sank. Deeper and lower than the depths of any sea.

_ It was over. _ The lack of a response in his darkened room only served as a painful reminder.

Pico wasn't going to respond. 

  
  


It only made sense. Didn't it? His final words to Evan made it all so clear.

  
  


_ "I never want to see you again." _

  
  


They rang out in his head. Over.  _ And over. _ And over and over again. Loud and clear as day.

It made his head hurt. 

Made his stomach churn.

His eyes only welled up once more, stinging hard as he shakily let out a few more choked sobs.

  
  


His parents weren't home at the moment. He was grateful they weren't. If they were he would have only felt worse. Their presence alone had always made him want to smash his head into the wall, if they were to be present now as he lay in his most vulnerable..

He didn't even want to  _ think _ about it.

He didn't want to think about  _ anything. _ He just wanted to let his throat run dry, his eyes to keep burning until he could cry no longer. Staying in the corner of his bed with his phone unlocked. Waiting for the message that would never arrive.

_ Why did it have to end like this? _ Desperately holding himself close, drawing his knees to his chest and curling up almost into a ball.

Why can't he just  _ disappear? _

Maybe then it'd be easier, right? If he was just gone. If he didn't have to be here.

No mother or father to breathe down his neck. No worries. No need to care about  _ anything _ or  _ anyone. _

He wouldn't have to feel like this. Trembling and festering in a pool of anger and guilt.

_ Maybe he wanted you gone from the start. How stupid could you be? _

_ Weren't you trying to help him? _

_ He's sick of you. _

_ You'll never see him again. _

It hurt. The thoughts only made it worse. They made him want to bash his god damn head against the wall as hard as possible just to get them to quiet down. To  _ shut up. _

He was alone now. Alone now with them. Alone with all the things he hated. Alone in the dark, in the silence that only echoed regret.

_ Is it too late to apologize? _ Was one of the less hurtful messages in his brain. Could he manage to salvage what little of this he had? He stopped for a few moments, eyes looking towards his phone.

Could he manage to text an "I'm sorry" before it truly was over? Or was it already too late for that?

_ I'm sorry. _

_ I didn't mean it. _

_ Please come back. _

He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to really lose Pico. He didn't want to lose those warm moments they had in each other's arms. The affection that no one else prior had given him. The crooked smile the other always had and how flustered he would get if Evan were to comment on it. How welcoming he had been.

How he felt  _ safe _ with him.

He wanted that back.

  
  


His hand had tried reaching out for his phone, heart pounding even harder against his ribcage. It was a task that shouldn't have made him as anxious as he was but he couldn't help it. The pit in his stomach only grew, already bracing for possible despair at the outcome.

He grabbed the phone. Trying his best to push down the urge to just throw it against the wall as hard as humanly possible.

_ Just apologize.. Please… _

But then he found he couldn't do it. Now looking through the last messages the two had sent one another.

  
  


There wasn't much. Just Pico asking when he was going to show up at his place that morning…

  
  


His fingers were shaking.

He didn't want to say anything else anymore. He didn't even want to say a thing to him anymore. Not after that heated argument. Not after he went home feeling like complete  _ garbage. _ Not after everything he said.

_ Sorry  _ wasn't enough.  _ Sorry _ wasn't going to cut it for either of them and Evan knew that. Exiting out of the messenger app and opting to lay down on his side.

What was he going to do? Stew in despair. What else? He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to do anything anymore now.

He just wanted to lie down and  _ sleep. _ Sleep until it was over. Until maybe things were magically okay and he was no longer filled with so much  _ hate. _ With so many conflicting feelings. Did he want him back or did he also never want to see the other again?

He wanted to rip his own hair out right now. That's for sure.

  
  


Maybe it was better to find some way to distract him. To keep his mind busy on literally  _ anything _ else. 

Evan got up from his bed after a good few minutes of deep breaths. His parents weren't around and he hadn't eaten anything at all today. Maybe it wasn't the best thing for him to do but he could scrounge around the kitchen for something to at least snack on.. That'd be alright, right? Maybe he could even cook something to keep him busy.

  
  


Yeah. That'd work.

  
  


Or at least it did work up until he found himself getting into his parents' liquor cabinet. One event  _ just happened _ to lead into another. He wasn't thinking straight.  _ He wasn't thinking. _

He felt floaty, hands moving hastily to the lock. Without any further ado he broke it with the meat tenderizer.

  
  


There was only one occasion in which he remembered drinking. He wasn't even of age but when he was out of the house he could do almost anything he wanted to. There was this one time during a session that he was offered a can of beer, and well, willing to see what it was like he took it. Then he took another.

And of course it ended in him having to be taken to Pico's place until he was no longer hungover.

The situation now? He  _ needed _ his mind off of this all, so the obvious solution?

_ Drink it away. Forget it. Forget him. Forget everything. Fuck it all. _

_ I don't care anymore. _

He took a bottle out. That was the last thing he remembered before everything went dark.

  
  


And before he woke to the disapproving glares of both his mother and father. Head pounding. Feeling sick to his stomach.

_ He wanted to throw up. _


End file.
